cats

Lord and Lady Fluffington Purr Again

Yes, I’m the kind of crazy that writes silly stories about my cats. If you want to read the first installment, you can find it here.

There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort. However when one is forced into staying home, such as during a quarantine of extended period, it does become a trial.

“Fuck you, I do not want to stuck in this house with you people for 6 months. I’m running away to join the circus.”
–Lady Morrigan

For Lady Fluffington of the Void, the very thought sent her into paroxysms of hysteria. And so, one bright morning she went out for a walk and did not come home.

Lord Fluffington, confused and heartbroken, went out every day searching for her late into the night with his trusted valet. Though they scoured the country for her, she could not be found. After writing to many local landowners and spreading word far and wide, there were various sightings. The lady had absconded with a local group of bandits! Rather than staying in the manor, where the Couchington and Mount Bedfort estates had at long last been rejoined, she wandered the country with Trash Panda brigands. Though many wrote to say she had been seen at fairs reading fortunes, Lord Fluffington and his valet were always too late by the time they came to take her home.

Hermes: “Why does he have to be MY ward?”
Me: “Because you’re both black and white and otherwise you won’t have a part in this story. Now quit complaining.”

But there was so little time to even grieve! For just after Lady Morrigan’s disappearance, they received word that Baron von Fluffalump had acquired a ward. The young gentleman was not only on his way to join them at the estate, but had been set on by the very band of racoons that Lady Fluffington had run off with. Baron von Fluffalump sent his most trusted tenant to bring the young lad home. The household was once again thrown into chaos as the young lordling was ill, and had to be isolated from all lest he spread pestilence among them.

Lord Noodle di Linguine did, at long last, recover from his illness. Though Lord Fluffington desired the return of his fair lady more than anything else in the world, he found that Lord Linguine was a fair companion despite his weak constitution and the two became fast friends. Von Fluffalump preferred to supervise his ward from a distance, though the presence of Lady Morrigan over the past year had softened his heart somewhat.

As months passed and sightings of Lady Morrigan became further and fewer, Lord Fluffington began to despair of ever getting his love back. Though he valued the friendship of Lord Linguine, he was no replacement for the empty place in his furry little heart.

But then, the unthinkable happened. One of their tenants, while passing through a nearby village, spotted the lost lady! She had been robbed by the brigands she had run off with, and was abandoned and arrested as a vagrant, unable to prove her identity. The Fluffington estate quickly raised the funds for her bail and brought her home. Though she was in generally good health, the ordeal had left her distraught and untrusting of those around her. But Lord Fluffington, Baron von Fluffalump, and even Lord Linguine strove to show her how much she had been missed and was loved, and soon she began to open up to them again. Lord Fluffington was not concerned about his love’s honor, so long as she was safe.

And so the Fluffington estate was returned to it’s former happy glory, the Racoon Bandits were banished from the village, and Lady Morrigan resumed her rightful place at the head of the household, with all possible nip and her beloved squeaky squirrel, and abandoned her desire to be a carnival fortune teller in exchange for the best noms and frequent belly rubs, which is truly all a lady of any status can desire.


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